Self Aware

At times I’m reminded how ignorant, isolated, removed, and protected I am from the things I identify with and care about and it upsets me. I become self-conscious at the awareness of my dullness, my privilege, my laziness, or my outright cowardice and I’m reminded the shackles confining me within this bubble are my own creation. Sure, I can claim anxiety, depression, and whatever else, and all of it be true, but so many others refuse to let these things keep them from their passions, their life, or just being themselves. Others never even get to choose.

No, I decide to lower my eyes, hum, and have a vague, half-assed idea of insert whatever subject rather than go a few feet outside my door and interact with the world. I am insulated by inaction and denial of personal risk all while existing at the end of a social media interaction. I am a boring, thoughtless, colorless glob and I hate myself for it, and I hate my ignorance and the safety and calm I feel from my isolation.

I need to change.

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